The person in the mirror!

Personally, I always focus on what I need to improve, without taking any pride in my accomplishments. 

I ask myself all the time; “Do you hate looking at yourself in the mirror or in a video of yourself?” My answer is always “YES”

We need to make some changes to how we perceive ourself!

You are probably wondering now; “What does this have to do with dancing?”

As a matter of fact, as dancers, to avoid reinforcing negative beliefs about ourselves that may have no basis in reality, we need to learn how to stay conscious, not only of what we need to improve, but also of the progress we have made.

Ladies and gentlemen, we need to change our limiting beliefs in order to develop a healthier relationship with ourselves! Here is what I mean.

It’s important to remember that what we see is often coloured by the opinions we already hold about ourselves. A person who believes they are uncomfortable with their body shape for example, is likely to still hold that belief even after losing 20 Kgs or even gaining 10 Kgs. An unconfident lady who thinks she is not as pretty for instance, will always see herself this way regardless of how much make up she wears.. and so on..

Is the mirror distorted?

Sometimes, it really is the mirror’s fault! Some mirrors can make people appear bigger or smaller, create the impression that they are not balanced well, or make correct techniques look strange. You are probably thinking now if there are certain mirrors you tend to like dancing in front of more than others, and of course asking yourself why. That’s the reason... This is by far the more likely situation.

My dear dancers, both ladies and gentlemen, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself of course, and you can’t do that without being aware of what you want to correct. But don’t let this work against you when your self-criticism becomes demoralizing, when it starts to hurt your self-esteem and self-perception. It just makes everything seem harder.

There are many reasons why you might have an unclear deformed perception of yourself, these may include…

1. Receiving compliments about your dancing doubtfully.

2. Finding yourself focusing on the flaws in your appearance and technique, and ignoring what looks good.

3. Complaining frequently about how bad a dancer you are.

4. Being criticized for not showing a proper clear lead for your lady.

5. Feeling sad, depressed, or angry at yourself after a practice party or a night.

6. If a dance goes well, you assume you just ‘got lucky’.

7. Hanging around other dancers or people who always demoralize themselves.

8. Never feeling enough regardless of how hard you try.

9. Using words like ‘ALWAYS and ‘NEVER’ when critiquing yourself.

‘I always screw up”            “ I’ll never get it right.”

10. Taking criticism very personally.

11. Quickly giving up.

12. Comparing yourself unfavourably to others.

13. Feeling that such an article is telling you not to work hard.

Now, that we know what lead us to have an unclear distorted perception of ourselves, let’s now discuss how we can create a more clear, honest & positive image of us…

1.  After each practice, find at least one thing you did well and thank yourself for doing it well.

2.  Ask your instructor where you’ve made progress, and trust their opinion! They are the experts.

3.  Ask yourself why you feel fat, clumsy, etc., using only facts. Then compare that to your real facts... You will find yourself the complete opposite! Trust yourself.

4. If in doubt of a lead move, ask any of your more advanced dancers or your instructor without fear.

5. Imagine yourself as a beautiful dancer, think of the way this person would walk, talk, feel, and dance. Practice being this person in your daily          life.

6. Think of an empowering sentence about yourself, and repeat it daily, like; ‘Every day, I am becoming a more skilled dancer.’

7. Make a plan and set certain goals you can measure your progress by.

8. Smile more! This will trick your body into feeling happier, which boosts your self-confidence.

9. Stop comparing yourself to anyone but yourself.

10. Practice letting go of your mistakes, either by making it funny, or quickly refocusing on the next movement. Fix your mistakes later on.

11. Reward yourself after doing something good, even if only by allowing yourself to feel a little pride.

12. Last but never the least, surround yourself with positive people.

All the above are mainly mental hacks that will allow you to start seeing yourself in a better light. You will improve your relationship with the person in the mirror. And that in turn, will help you find the motivation you need to become the dancer of your dreams.  

Now... Go and dance your fears away! Personally, I will 😊